The End of Cancer

Well, I think I better get some details down before I forget things.

I previously mentioned that we had cancelled our appointment with an out-of-state doctor.  That doctor was kind enough to do a phone appointment with us and Dr. Wright came into John's hospital room to be on the call with us.  This was Dec 28, I believe.  John wasn't talking much at this point.  He was really out of breath and exhausted.  He mostly kept his eyes closed while talking to people.  Anyway, the two doctors spoke with us.  The other doctor said he read John's files and would have done all the same regimens that we had tried.  He said that the new proposed regimen only needed one of the three drugs.  So the drug we were fighting to get approved wasn't going to be a big deal, because the one that was most important in the regimen had been approved.

The 30th, John said that he felt good and was ready to go on a walk around the 4th floor with me when I got back to the hospital from spending the night at my grandmas.  So I got up to the 4th floor and I thought we were about to go on a walk when the team of doctors came in and told me there wasn't anything else they could do for John.  His liver numbers hadn't improved enough after placing a stent.  They told me they were going to send us home on hospice care.  I was stunned is an understatement.  Didn't they see that John was more alive than he was yesterday? John called Dr. Wright and then we waited for her to call back.  She said that if John's bilirubin came down to a 4 that she would give him chemo.  So we decided to go home with palliative care (which ended up not being able to accept John as a patient over the weekend (because of holiday staffing I think), so we just ended up with home care).  The plan was to have home health for the weekend and since Monday was a holiday, we would check labs again on Tuesday.  John's siblings all came to Salt Lake and spent some time with John and I in the hospital and then they all came and hung out at our house over the weekend.  Our ward members brought the sacrament to our house and I think all of John's siblings and maybe his parents all came into our loft and had the sacrament one last time together.

Tuesday morning came with a ton of snow.  We piled into the van to take John to go get his labs.  Our van got stuck at the stop sign.  I think 6-8 neighbors tried to help us get out.  John, who had zero strength or energy, went and got a tow rope and he drove the truck to tow the van in a loop back to our garage.  Then we hopped in the truck and went to get labs.  (Another last minute babysitter and canceled babysitter happened here.)

Daniel was supposed to have speech therapy that same afternoon.  John's doctor called with lab results. Bilirubin was worse than it was when we left the hospital.  Hospice was agreed upon.  Speech therapy was cancelled.  John spoke with each of the boys one-on-one to explain what was about to happen.  A neighbor took the boys and I stayed with John in our room.  Wednesday morning, I spent doing one-on-one time with the boys.  Grandma and Grandpa Clayton came and took the boys for the afternoon.  I spent several more hours with John.  He wasn't talking or moving much on Wednesday.  By Thursday he was not responding much.

The whole 2 weeks we spent in the hospital included a lot of pain management.  Wednesday night (Jan 4) John was so tired and just wanted to sleep.  He was so peaceful, he said he felt fine.  And then about every hour throughout the night, he asked for help with pain management.  He was always on top of all his medication and always knew what to take when, but Wednesday night he started getting confused about medication and I had a hard time getting him to understand what I could and could not give him each time he asked.

Back to Tuesday night.  Tuesday John called his family, some of mine came to visit and John said his good-byes to everyone.  Talk about a hard thing to sit and listen to your husband call and say good-bye.  I was scared to fall asleep thinking I would miss his last breath.  He promised me he would still be there in the morning, though.  Wednesday night, I didn't sleep much because of the medication needs.  I think my sister's family who lives in Idaho were the only ones who hadn't said good-bye yet.  My sister and brother-in-law got here Thursday.  They played with our kids most of the afternoon while other visitors came and went.  John was moaning in pain a lot that day too, but I couldn't get him to take any medicine.  Hospice came and helped calm him down and I called my sister and her husband to come up.  I was so tired that night.  I had thought so many times in the last two days that John had taken his last breath.  My sister, brother-in-law, John's parents and I decided to take shifts through the night so we could all sleep and also try to keep John comfortable.  I fell asleep just after 10.  My sister woke us all up at maybe 10:40.  My sister, brother-in-law, John's parents and I were all in the room and watching John as he took his last breath.  

John Michael Clayton, 32, beloved husband, father, son, brother, and friend, was born February 22, 1984 to Dan & Mary Ann Clayton in Burley, Idaho. He passed away late on January 5, 2017 after a brave, hard and long fight with recurrent Stage 4 Alveolar Rhabdomyosarcoma.

He grew up on a dairy farm where a deep love of hard work and the outdoors was instilled. He enjoyed working and even bragged that he was such a good worker and started at such a young age that he would change his own diapers while out working. He has many fond memories of working with siblings and extended family while on the farm. He loved four-wheelers, soccer, and scouts in his teenage years. He always enjoyed bringing friends to his house, both while growing up and in college.

He served an LDS Mission in Malaga, Spain, and always spoke of taking Kelli there someday. Right after his mission in 2005 at BYU, he unknowingly met the love of his life, Kelli. Over the next two years, they played a lot of racquetball and ate a lot of Frosties. Kelli left for Cape Cod in the spring of 2007 and surprised John by keeping in touch with him. Over the summer they found that they loved each other. In November 2007 they were sealed for time and eternity in the Monticello UT LDS Temple.

John graduated from BYU in May 2009 in Construction Management. His brother, Curtis, introduced him to construction and John found that he had a passion for building. He found a job at Westland Construction and had so much fun working on so many projects. After a couple years there, he started working closely with Stan Houghton and learned and watched how to be a good, honest, smart businessman as well as a family man. John formed many close friendships at Westland and loved those he worked with.

John took great care in taking care of Kelli and their dear three boys as they came along. His boys knew dad could fix anything and that dad would always share candy, hot chocolate and good food. John took care of anybody who asked for help or advice. He was full of wit, wisdom, and mischief. He loved sharing what he loved. He especially loved gathering with his siblings and always enjoyed those who were around and missing those who couldn’t make it.

While John wasn’t a huge Rascal Flatts’ fan, he was fond of fast cars and freedom. He was able to buy and enjoy both a Pontiac G8 GXP and a Cadillac CTSV. Accelerating super fast always put a smile on his face. His boys all loved riding in dad’s fast cars.

He had a passion for traveling and loved asking people where they planned to travel next. He loved his trips to Fiji, Puerto Rico, Alaska, Panama, Russia, and all over the US. Most movies we watched, he could say that he’d been there. He especially enjoyed taking his boys to Disneyland, the beach, Yellowstone, camping, and New England.

John is preceded in death by his dear Grandpa and Grandma Clayton and Uncle Jack Clayton. He is survived by his sweetie, Kelli, his 3 amazing boys: Carson, Thomas, and Daniel; his parents who were also his best friends, Dan and Mary Ann Clayton; siblings he adored and loved: Chelsea (Andy) Bingham, Curtis (Shauna) Clayton, Kimberly (Adam) Pierson, and Brent (Ashleigh) Clayton; Grandma and Grandpa Gerratt; his parents-in-law, Warren and Beverly Thomas; siblings-in-law; many adored nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles and cousins.

Our six-year old Carson says, “We all love him.”

Funeral services will be held at 11:00 a.m., Thursday, January 12, 2017 at the Canyon Pointe Ward Chapel, 2162 East Canyon Road, Spanish Fork, Utah. Friends may call at the Berg Mortuary of Provo, 185 East Center Street, Wednesday, January 11 from 6-8:00 p.m. and at the church Thursday from 9:30-10:45 a.m. prior to services. Interment, East Lawn Memorial Hills. Condolences may be expressed at www.bergmortuary.com.

In lieu of flowers, please send donations to www.kyleesdancingangels.org.